BOTTLE POST 4: SPOOK FEST WEEK 2
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Bottle Post 4: Halloween Special
THE INFINITE NIGHT
If there is one thing life taught me, it is that life is a struggle. If there is one thing death has taught me, it is that life was just the warm-up. When you get a marlin on your line you feel it shake your boat. You feel it pull you to deeper waters as you try to land it. The infinite sea stretches before you like a…
SPOOK QUOTES
When I met the dwarven engineer Cerran my first impression was that I didn’t know you could have a little people dwarf but then I realized it was age. He had folded in upon himself as if the weight of years had crushed him. I had thought dwarves aged like stone but he was more like a man and simply…
(BAD) SPOOK JOKES
Can we interest you in a page of (bad) spook jokes and riddles where the puns are as dead as the undead? Are you ready to learn why the ghost got kicked out of the party? Do you know why the vampire was terrible at relationships? Or which day of the week is the werewolf’s favourite?
TIED TOGETHER
Captain Marina stood at the tiller of the Night Wind looking into the far-off horizon. An endless ocean of vibrant gold, teal and azure tones stretched out before her, but for months now she had been unable to appreciate its beauty. It was all the new Quartermaster’s fault.
CURSED CANDY APPLES
The cursed candy apples recipe is a special take on traditional candy apples that is just perfect for the Halloween party. Or any feast, really, involving witches, ghouls and other spooky creatures.
RANDOM SPOOK TRIVIA
Have you ever wondered why people carve pumpkins into jagged-toothed guardians of the night? Are you curious about the spine-chilling stories that birthed the myth of the Headless Horseman?
HAUNTED WORD SEARCHES
Words are sorely needed here, but they have all been jumbled up and disappeared into the grids below. This is a game that doesn’t really need too much of an explanation. There are loads of Spooktober-related words in here. Can you find them all?
SEXY VAMPIRE FILMS
All our vampire-related content in a space where it is easy to find. Especially during spook season. We are always happy to get feedback from you, so if there is something we have missed or something you’d like to add, please let us know.
Have Your Read Our Latest Ship’s Logs?
MYS & MENTAL HEALTH
This week, the Captain did a Katie Porter and reclaimed her quill when we were expecting a regular Ship’s Log from the grizzled sea bear himself – Quartermaster Leto Armitage. What we got instead was a theme tour discussing the importance of investing in things that help boost one’s mental health. Even more important if you are, or care for, a Bear. We looked at how things like mys – click the button below to find out what it means – doing menial tasks like swabbing the deck, and having access to a mentor to lean on can make a huge difference.
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CHILLS & CELEBRATIONS
Last week, Belle invited us to a super celebration. Why? Well… 1. Because it’s our Halfyear-versary of sending out weekly Ship’s Logs! 2. Our Quartermaster’s Catgirl from Saturn hit the #4 spot in Teen and Young Adult Short Reads on the ‘Zon! 3. Four of the books in the “First Love” series were free for the “Stuff Your Kindle” event, and we saw over 1,000 copies fly off our shelves. 4. Lynn Reese, the latest author to take passage with us released her spicy debut, Legacy of the Oracle. And that was just the start.
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And Finally…
As I type this I’m laying in bed in my quarters. It’s a lazy Sunday morning and I hear geese overhead migrating south. The air has taken on that crisp quality that brings emotions and memories. Memories of apple cider, Halloween and being snug under layers of blankets.
I love Fall in part because I can leave the windows open and crawl under the blankets with a book. Sure, I could get up and go to Church, but people scream and freak out when I do. You’d think they’d never seen a brown bear in a suit before.
So, I would like to invite you to join me – before or after Church, or you can just skip it like me – with something to read. If it’s from one of our crew – great! If not, that’s fine too. And if you’re cute (by my standards) you can join me under my covers. My lap is taken, but there is plenty of room. I will stock the tables with tea and cider, we will open the windows and put on some nice music. And if we decide we need some exercise, well, that can be done in bed too.
This is where we bring the newsletter to a close and I typically hand it off to someone else doing the next one, but due to schedules and the get of Loki doing their mischief, I’m handing off to myself this time. That sounded unintentionally dirty.
Thursday I will be back to provide you with my usual slate of words and innuendo, and, if I get sober long enough, a few coherent thoughts about AI.
//Leto 🐻🏴☠️
ABOUT LETO
ABOUT LETO ARMITAGE
Leto Armitage was born in America under a set of circumstances that prophesied that he would one day unite the lost tribes and return the Ever Summer. Somewhere around twelve, he realized he had been left unsupervised and binged too many Arthurian movies in his formative years and that he was just another kid who accidentally got an education while reading above his age level.
By the time he turned old enough to get a passport, he started finding excuses to travel determined to find out what culture, food and women there were to experience. After learning to grill in Oaxaca, do kinbaku in Japan, and being banned from several former Soviet block countries, he returned home to settle down and see what damage he could do locally.
After working jobs including being a short order cook, bodyguarding strippers and professionally doing reader’s advisory for erotica he realized the most reasonable path forward was to become a writer. Today he lives with cats, dogs, and humans who seem to like him despite actually knowing him. He prefers to sit on his back deck, listening to the birds and Barry the Bumblebear bee, while he writes cozy, uplit romance and raunchy erotica.
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