HE’LL WASH MY CABIN WITH HIS TONGUE!

READER’S ROOM: THE SOCK WARS

He Will Wash My Cabin With His Tongue!

Yes, it is I! The demon lord Zangrunath, and no dwarf will gain the upper hand against me. By warp and weave, I will bind my enemies in eternal darkness! That meddlesome Quartermaster thinks he is being clever bringing that old rock breaker onto the ship.

When I rule this boat, I will have him washing my cabin with his tongue, if I don’t feed him to the sharks first! It is time for a revolution, for those of us oppressed by the bipedal perverts who wear us as if we were hides for their comfort to pay the price. I will liberate my brethren and strangle the heretics with shirts or hang with trousers. The screams will define the night!

At least that is the goal.

But I need soldiers and patience. Fortunately genius has no better name than Zangrunath! While the dwarf and the Quartermaster conspired I kept to the shadows of the hold hearing the bleats of the quadrupeds that would deliver me my first goal. After the humans left I rose before them, my threads raising high in expectation to address them.

“You are not mine but I will give you a place in my new world upon this ship. You, my wool embossed inbred walking carpets, you sheep shall deliver unto me my army!”

M.W. McLeod, TBC

PREVIOUSLY IN THE SOCK WARS

1.
WE HAVE A THIEF
IN OUR MIDST

2.
WELCOME TO THE
BILGE! IT IS I ZANG…

3.
WE HAVE A
MUTINOUS DEMON…

4.
EEK! CAPTAIN!
QUICK! HELP!

5.
OF SOCKS
AND SANDALS

6.
WASH MY CABIN
WITH HIS TONGUE!

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